The Silence Within
The hidden cost of feeling unheard
1/29/20261 min read
Do you ever feel as though you can be in a room full of people, talking, but that no one is listening?
It is a horrible experience that causes deep distress.
Feeling unheard, not listened to, can make you feel invalidated, as though you are invisible - you are not important. This will make you feel lonely and isolated. As a result, you will find yourself feeling resentful and emotionally drained. You will no longer put your trust in others. This means you are likely to seek validation elsewhere. You will feel rejection, low self-worth and low self-esteem.
How can you break through the quiet? How can you find your power in being heard?
Let your family and friends know how you feel when you are not being heard. Let them know how their behaviour affects you. However, try not to "go on the attack". Rather than say "you did" or "you make me feel", say "I feel". This statement demonstrates that you are owning your feelings; they are yours and cannot be taken away or invalidated. If you continue to feel unheard and invalidated, it may be time to reassess that relationship.
Actively listening to others sets an example to others that everyone has the right to feel heard. Everybody has valid thoughts and opinions, regardless of whether or not they align.
Show yourself compassion. Be kind to yourself. Even when days feel horrible, remember you are doing the best you can.
Take care of yourself. Do things that you enjoy and will boost your mood. In doing so, you are building resilience and self-esteem, giving yourself a sense of accomplishment. Do small, manageable tasks which will give you control over your life.
Mindfulness allows you to feel, acknowledge and name your emotions, without judgment. This helps to process and understand them.
Writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal or diary provides an outlet to externalise them. It will highlight patterns of behaviour, identify triggers and underlying problems.
Always seek help if you find that it is having a significant impact on your daily life
